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[ not-a-real-plot ] rokurou's tiny malevolence problem
Since this is going to involve a few people and stretched over a decent length of time, figure it would be best to have everything written down so I keep things straight. And before I begin, I'd like to thank KYOR for this awesome idea! I'm too chicken to try and think up anything like this on my own, so THANKS MAN.
TO BE CLEAR this isn't supposed to be some huge plot thing and will have a very small, localized impact with just those who want to notice or be part of it in some way. It's all about Rokurou's personal development and what's happening to him is on a very, very small scale that no one except those who are around him would even notice. So don't worry about this spreading somehow, that's not the intent. I just need this kind of organization so I can keep things straight since it is going to be a kind of big deal for him.
Now, let us begin!
about
Rokurou is having some unexpected (and somewhat unwanted) FEELINGS about how he's made certain people feel about him. For a daemon whose old human emotions have been kept rather distant and haven't bothered him for the past 3-4 years, this sudden "really crappy" feeling is a bit confusing and kind of annoying. Confusing and annoying enough that he's actually going to have some malevolence blips. (It is not going to be as bad as it might(?) sound, I promise.)
How did this come about? Click below to read, or just skip it for actual details of what's going on.
After the failed attack on Sosyne, Rokurou's standing with everyone who knew him prior has, as expected, tanked. For the most part, he's fine with this. It's what he's used to and fully expected it to happen. And even though he's made some actual friends, and even though it kind of sucks for them to be mad at him, he's able to shrug it off and move on. Not that he doesn't feel bad about making them feel that way—he does. He actually feels a little more guilt than usual after learning about how hostile the locals turned on everyone. No one expected any negative aggression to be on anyone but their own group. But for the most part, he was prepared for it and really has been more surprised by the number of people who, while still rightly mad at him, are...not forgiving, but still associating with him.
Weirdos.
But what he did not expect was the reaction from the kids he's befriended so far. Trunks kicked it off with his letter, insisting that the daemon isn't as bad as he likes to claim he is. Specifically, that the bad ol' daemon actually cares. It's something Rokurou is "Eeeeeeh kind of but not like how you think" about it because while true he can care and have concern for others, he also fully recognizes that he is willing to use people and drop them to get what he wants. At least, that's how it's been so far. But it would be a lie to say that even before this he had already started feeling a little bad about how Trunks felt after (and then all that talk and promises and uuugggh how did this happen). Especially since they had a bonding moment not long before the attack went down, complete with sword buying, "friendship bracelets," and Trunks just being freaking adorable. Anyway, Trunks was very adamant about his NO YOU'RE MY FRIEND AND I BELIEVE IN YOU EVEN IF YOU DON'T, even after his "growth spurt" (canon update), so that's left him rather confused.
Anyway, second up to bat is Emizel. While Trunks was clearly confused and sad, Emizel didn't hold back his punches with how mad he was. Again, rightfully so, although it's through Emizel that Rokurou learns how bad things actually are between the locals and Otherworlders. To hear the kid practically being bullied really forces a change in perspective in how things have been going down after the attack, and even Rokurou can't just shrug it off or ignore it so easily. And with Emizel who is also a demon (if from a little world), he always liked to look after him, and they had their own bonding moment a while back where he helped Emizel figure out his problems. To have the kid pretty much hate him...expected, but what's not is how much more it actually sucks. So that's another layer of guilt and bad feels starting to build up.
Finally, we have Alice for the grand slam of gut punching feels. She's confused, upset, and in some ways, terrified. She knew all of them and she has no idea how to view them anymore. Bad people who do good things, or good people who do bad things? Like Trunks, she knows that they are capable of caring for others, and Rokurou in particular has always been fond of her like the little sister he never had (he grew up with five older brothers, okay). So he was already feeling kind of crappy when she came up to him, but when she asked him if he would kill her if she was in the way of something he wanted? OH MAN. OH MAN. He couldn't say no. He really, really did not like thinking about it, but with everything he's already done and how he's always felt up until then, he couldn't lie to her. Even if it was a "wouldn't want to" answer, that still wasn't a no. So. Yeah. Gut punch. Especially since he could see firsthand how his answer was tearing her apart. He felt really crappy after that.
Now why did these kids in particular affect him? Like with Laphicet, Rokurou took on the "older brother" role, and being the youngest of his own set, he's like the fun one that looks out for them, but also knows how to just mess around and have fun. So he actually grew a little closer to the kids than he has with other adults, showing a bit more care and affection towards them. And if anything ever happened to them, he would definitely go full war daemon. Fun thing is, he doesn't actually realize all of that, at least not the actual extent of his own feelings about things. From how he currently thinks, he doesn't really think he would go that far. After all, even with Laphicet he went after him for interfering with his fight, so with that kind of history why would he think or expect differently? He knows what he's capable of and just accepts it. He's a daemon.
But here's where things get fun in RP land. Unlike in canon, he's had much more time to get to know and be with these kids, and that leads to more time to actually develop real attachments to them that he didn't have available to him in canon. And let's be real—he's only been a daemon for 3-4 years, with 3 of those years being in jail with other adult daemons and prisoners. He's only had a few months to a year (canon+emp combined) actually being out in the world and interacting with other people. He may have forgotten or "lost" those old human feelings and values for relationships, but the doesn't necessarily mean it has to stay that way.
So while he's realized that his time in Empatheias has given him a different kind of life and opportunities he'd never get back in his home world, he hasn't quite realized how much it's also affecting him on a more personal and emotional level. He believes he's carrying on like normal and for the most part he is. But there are now layers of nuances and some adjustments being made that he is not fully aware of, and now that some of it is rearing its ugly head?
He has no idea what to do about it because this isn't supposed to happen. And for a guy who doesn't normally overthink things, he's starting to overthink things, ah ha.
what's happening
As a result of this conflict Rokurou now finds himself facing, his malevolence is going to start appearing. NOT A LOT, just a little.
For the most part, his malevolence output has been pretty much zero. He's so chill and accepting of himself that he hardly ever generates any. Being super pissed off or in battle would be his only times, and even then it's not much. So with his fluctuating emotions (gasp), he's actually going to have a few "blips" with his malevolence. And that's really all it will be: occasional blips. It'll be random and every now and then, but particularly when he's feeling bothered.
Only those who are 1) close to him relationship wise or 2) can already see/sense that he is a daemon will be able to notice. Physical appearance wise, it'll be faint smoky black wisps and could easily be mistaken for the usual emotion effects that the world puts out. It might appear around his hands, his feet, even his shoulders, but just those small localized area (there's no real significance, just arbitrary spots chosen for this). Because it's faint, it might not be immediately noticed, and it will only last for a few seconds, a minute at most. In terms of "influential side effects" there won't be much of any. At most those who are physically close to him (like standing by his side) will just feel a little uneasy or suddenly uncertain about something. But it only lasts for as long as the malevolence is around, so not long at all.
Rokurou himself will only notice the malevolence half the time, and when he does there will be a brief "spike" before it disappears. By "spike" I just mean the malevolence becomes a bit clearer and uneasy feelings grow a bit, like a sudden dose of fear. And even after he notices it, he won't make the connections as to why it's happening and just kind of ignore it, believing it may be due to him not being able to have his swords and fight. As time passes, however, he'll grow a bit more frustrated which in turn will make his malevolence a little more prominent, BUT!! again not so bad to worry about. He's going to make sure to keep it in check around others so if he did have a big burst, it would be somewhere far away that no one will ever care about (unless they want to).
Eventually this will be resolved with Kor, but it won't be until close to the end of the month, potentially a little longer (but not that long).
And like I said, this is something that is VERY SMALL and SCATTERED and is more of a side effect that's popping up every now and then as a sign that Rokurou is having personal emotional problems and is not sure how to deal with it—mostly in part because he doesn't know the exact reasons why it's happening at all. So this won't affect anyone but those who want to be a part of it. Which leads to the next part.
who is involved
So there actually doesn't need to be a lot of involvement, but I did want to open it up in case any of his CR wants to notice what's going on. They can are free to point it out and even try to help, but Rokurou is just going to be like "Naaaaah" so it won't be until Kor dives into his psyche through Spiria Linking that he'll realize that okay, MAYBE the others were right. And if someone wants to make things "worse" for him by throwing more feels/guilt? THAT'S COOL, TOO. Rokurou will definitely be more open and likely to show this vulnerable state while drunk, so. Yaaay...
So far I got (in rough order):
So that's what I have so far, and if I already have threads going with people who may be interested, so long as it's not a hospital thread I can work the stuff in there. Or do something new, that's cool.
I think I'll just use his current log as well, especially if it remains this small. But if I get a good number I may consider making something new later on. We'll see.
timeline
Now for actual happenings. Just basically copy-pasting from the tread tracker:
(to be updated until the end)
TO BE CLEAR this isn't supposed to be some huge plot thing and will have a very small, localized impact with just those who want to notice or be part of it in some way. It's all about Rokurou's personal development and what's happening to him is on a very, very small scale that no one except those who are around him would even notice. So don't worry about this spreading somehow, that's not the intent. I just need this kind of organization so I can keep things straight since it is going to be a kind of big deal for him.
Now, let us begin!
about
Rokurou is having some unexpected (and somewhat unwanted) FEELINGS about how he's made certain people feel about him. For a daemon whose old human emotions have been kept rather distant and haven't bothered him for the past 3-4 years, this sudden "really crappy" feeling is a bit confusing and kind of annoying. Confusing and annoying enough that he's actually going to have some malevolence blips. (It is not going to be as bad as it might(?) sound, I promise.)
How did this come about? Click below to read, or just skip it for actual details of what's going on.
the story thus far
After the failed attack on Sosyne, Rokurou's standing with everyone who knew him prior has, as expected, tanked. For the most part, he's fine with this. It's what he's used to and fully expected it to happen. And even though he's made some actual friends, and even though it kind of sucks for them to be mad at him, he's able to shrug it off and move on. Not that he doesn't feel bad about making them feel that way—he does. He actually feels a little more guilt than usual after learning about how hostile the locals turned on everyone. No one expected any negative aggression to be on anyone but their own group. But for the most part, he was prepared for it and really has been more surprised by the number of people who, while still rightly mad at him, are...not forgiving, but still associating with him.
Weirdos.
But what he did not expect was the reaction from the kids he's befriended so far. Trunks kicked it off with his letter, insisting that the daemon isn't as bad as he likes to claim he is. Specifically, that the bad ol' daemon actually cares. It's something Rokurou is "Eeeeeeh kind of but not like how you think" about it because while true he can care and have concern for others, he also fully recognizes that he is willing to use people and drop them to get what he wants. At least, that's how it's been so far. But it would be a lie to say that even before this he had already started feeling a little bad about how Trunks felt after (and then all that talk and promises and uuugggh how did this happen). Especially since they had a bonding moment not long before the attack went down, complete with sword buying, "friendship bracelets," and Trunks just being freaking adorable. Anyway, Trunks was very adamant about his NO YOU'RE MY FRIEND AND I BELIEVE IN YOU EVEN IF YOU DON'T, even after his "growth spurt" (canon update), so that's left him rather confused.
Anyway, second up to bat is Emizel. While Trunks was clearly confused and sad, Emizel didn't hold back his punches with how mad he was. Again, rightfully so, although it's through Emizel that Rokurou learns how bad things actually are between the locals and Otherworlders. To hear the kid practically being bullied really forces a change in perspective in how things have been going down after the attack, and even Rokurou can't just shrug it off or ignore it so easily. And with Emizel who is also a demon (if from a little world), he always liked to look after him, and they had their own bonding moment a while back where he helped Emizel figure out his problems. To have the kid pretty much hate him...expected, but what's not is how much more it actually sucks. So that's another layer of guilt and bad feels starting to build up.
Finally, we have Alice for the grand slam of gut punching feels. She's confused, upset, and in some ways, terrified. She knew all of them and she has no idea how to view them anymore. Bad people who do good things, or good people who do bad things? Like Trunks, she knows that they are capable of caring for others, and Rokurou in particular has always been fond of her like the little sister he never had (he grew up with five older brothers, okay). So he was already feeling kind of crappy when she came up to him, but when she asked him if he would kill her if she was in the way of something he wanted? OH MAN. OH MAN. He couldn't say no. He really, really did not like thinking about it, but with everything he's already done and how he's always felt up until then, he couldn't lie to her. Even if it was a "wouldn't want to" answer, that still wasn't a no. So. Yeah. Gut punch. Especially since he could see firsthand how his answer was tearing her apart. He felt really crappy after that.
Now why did these kids in particular affect him? Like with Laphicet, Rokurou took on the "older brother" role, and being the youngest of his own set, he's like the fun one that looks out for them, but also knows how to just mess around and have fun. So he actually grew a little closer to the kids than he has with other adults, showing a bit more care and affection towards them. And if anything ever happened to them, he would definitely go full war daemon. Fun thing is, he doesn't actually realize all of that, at least not the actual extent of his own feelings about things. From how he currently thinks, he doesn't really think he would go that far. After all, even with Laphicet he went after him for interfering with his fight, so with that kind of history why would he think or expect differently? He knows what he's capable of and just accepts it. He's a daemon.
But here's where things get fun in RP land. Unlike in canon, he's had much more time to get to know and be with these kids, and that leads to more time to actually develop real attachments to them that he didn't have available to him in canon. And let's be real—he's only been a daemon for 3-4 years, with 3 of those years being in jail with other adult daemons and prisoners. He's only had a few months to a year (canon+emp combined) actually being out in the world and interacting with other people. He may have forgotten or "lost" those old human feelings and values for relationships, but the doesn't necessarily mean it has to stay that way.
So while he's realized that his time in Empatheias has given him a different kind of life and opportunities he'd never get back in his home world, he hasn't quite realized how much it's also affecting him on a more personal and emotional level. He believes he's carrying on like normal and for the most part he is. But there are now layers of nuances and some adjustments being made that he is not fully aware of, and now that some of it is rearing its ugly head?
He has no idea what to do about it because this isn't supposed to happen. And for a guy who doesn't normally overthink things, he's starting to overthink things, ah ha.
what's happening
As a result of this conflict Rokurou now finds himself facing, his malevolence is going to start appearing. NOT A LOT, just a little.
For the most part, his malevolence output has been pretty much zero. He's so chill and accepting of himself that he hardly ever generates any. Being super pissed off or in battle would be his only times, and even then it's not much. So with his fluctuating emotions (gasp), he's actually going to have a few "blips" with his malevolence. And that's really all it will be: occasional blips. It'll be random and every now and then, but particularly when he's feeling bothered.
Only those who are 1) close to him relationship wise or 2) can already see/sense that he is a daemon will be able to notice. Physical appearance wise, it'll be faint smoky black wisps and could easily be mistaken for the usual emotion effects that the world puts out. It might appear around his hands, his feet, even his shoulders, but just those small localized area (there's no real significance, just arbitrary spots chosen for this). Because it's faint, it might not be immediately noticed, and it will only last for a few seconds, a minute at most. In terms of "influential side effects" there won't be much of any. At most those who are physically close to him (like standing by his side) will just feel a little uneasy or suddenly uncertain about something. But it only lasts for as long as the malevolence is around, so not long at all.
Rokurou himself will only notice the malevolence half the time, and when he does there will be a brief "spike" before it disappears. By "spike" I just mean the malevolence becomes a bit clearer and uneasy feelings grow a bit, like a sudden dose of fear. And even after he notices it, he won't make the connections as to why it's happening and just kind of ignore it, believing it may be due to him not being able to have his swords and fight. As time passes, however, he'll grow a bit more frustrated which in turn will make his malevolence a little more prominent, BUT!! again not so bad to worry about. He's going to make sure to keep it in check around others so if he did have a big burst, it would be somewhere far away that no one will ever care about (unless they want to).
Eventually this will be resolved with Kor, but it won't be until close to the end of the month, potentially a little longer (but not that long).
And like I said, this is something that is VERY SMALL and SCATTERED and is more of a side effect that's popping up every now and then as a sign that Rokurou is having personal emotional problems and is not sure how to deal with it—mostly in part because he doesn't know the exact reasons why it's happening at all. So this won't affect anyone but those who want to be a part of it. Which leads to the next part.
who is involved
So there actually doesn't need to be a lot of involvement, but I did want to open it up in case any of his CR wants to notice what's going on. They can are free to point it out and even try to help, but Rokurou is just going to be like "Naaaaah" so it won't be until Kor dives into his psyche through Spiria Linking that he'll realize that okay, MAYBE the others were right. And if someone wants to make things "worse" for him by throwing more feels/guilt? THAT'S COOL, TOO. Rokurou will definitely be more open and likely to show this vulnerable state while drunk, so. Yaaay...
So far I got (in rough order):
- Zero: FITE ME; not long after Alice does he kind of get drunk and maaay wander towards Zero's place because fighting makes him feel better! And he likes fighting Zero! Let's just not mind the fact his arm is still broken and he's drunk.
- Ban: Drunk
talkingwhining; either after Zero kicks his ass or a day or two later Rokurou will just kind of whine at Ban. Level of actual drunkenness to be determined. - Trunks: MAYBE; nothing specific planned other than some of his malevolence popping up and Trunks noticing. ...Over drinks LOOK I DID SAY HAVING DRINKS INVOLVED WILL HELP.
- Kor: Spiria Link; the final part, Kor will help Rokurou deal with his issues and it's going to be grand ol' dungeon time for Kor with a bar break. Probably. (I'll figure it out by the time it happens).
So that's what I have so far, and if I already have threads going with people who may be interested, so long as it's not a hospital thread I can work the stuff in there. Or do something new, that's cool.
I think I'll just use his current log as well, especially if it remains this small. But if I get a good number I may consider making something new later on. We'll see.
timeline
Now for actual happenings. Just basically copy-pasting from the tread tracker:
- trunks brief ⋙ trunks sent him a letter after the attack and it hurt everyone. kid still wants to believe in him and be his friend.
- emizel ⋙ rokurou learns of what's going on outside and emizel is furious at him.
- steven universe ⋙ third child to be hurt by him, but steven still wants to believe and be his friend
- alice liddel ⋙ she asks why he did everything and then throws him the hard question of whether he would kill her if he had to—he couldn't say no and he broke
everyone'sher heart. - zero ⋙ after what happened with alice, rokurou felt bad and got so stupidly drunk he actually wandered over to zero's to challenge him to a fight. it went as well as expected.
- ban ⋙ set immediately after his stupid with zero, rokurou calls up ban to ask if he can crash there so as not to disturb laphicet and eleanor
- trunks brief ⋙ first hint of malevolence appears while talking about him being a daemon and only really needing fighting and drinking; who needs special people in his life psssh.....
- swordcon ⋙ SWORDCON!!...or so it should be, but rokurou ends up being miserable because while he enjoys looking at the swords, he still can't hold one. and with everything else that's been rumbling inside him, it just ends up being a sad day ending at the
ballsword pit. all of this plus the various people he runs into is just more fuel for his malevolence. - allura ⋙ she confronts him and after explaining everything, it goes as well as expected. he does feel a bit bad about what's going on with the school because of him, and at the end of it all there's another blip of malevolence.
- alice liddel ⋙ he spots alice sitting alone and there's another brief appearance of his malevolence before he sucks it up to talk with her.
(to be updated until the end)