[What is he...you know what, no, he's not going to ask because it might just make him mad. Maybe. DON'T INSULT HER OKAY.
However, the next part is what really grabs his attention.]
All right, what is this really all about?
[Does he...know about what happened? And if he does, who—Eizen. Since they're not in person Shigure won't be able to get the visible cues of Rokurou connecting the dots, but he might feel a sudden flash of annoyance.]
[ Oh he sure feels it but even when not face to face, he both expected that and doesn't really care that much. Sorry, baby bro. You're just too predictable with certain reactions. ]
Just thought I'd check in on ya since, from the sounds of it, you're goin' through a bit of a rough patch with a friend or two.
[ He hadn't really pried into what the "misunderstanding" was as he really didn't care because he knew it had to be something stupid and that could have been easily avoided. ]
So you got yourself obsessed with someone else here, do ya? Gonna hope you ain't trying to kill her, too. Not a good way to score dating points there.
[Are they doing this. Are they really doing this. If they are he needs a drink.]
Does it matter? It was still a dick move no matter the reason, and he refuses to see it.
[This isn't proving Shigure's point or anything, not at all. (Yes it is.) Granted it doesn't help that his older brother already stirred the hornet's nest, if unintentionally, so he's even more less inclined to give in.]
[If he could just give Shigure a cold stare, he would.]
No, Eizen is just that big of a stubborn dumbass that he'd just avoid things instead of dealing with them the way he should, and giving his coin would have just made things worse.
[Eizen needs Stormhowl, not his coin. Not that Rokurou would actually explain that, but you know whatever.]
Right. Eizen's the one who didn't bother to listen to your side of the story, right? Didn't give you the chance to. Didn't even ask for it and made his own assumptions. What an asshole.
[ That's all dripping with sarcasm. You know, in case Rokurou can't already tell. ]
[So much internal screaming which just translates to an aggravated sigh.]
All right, fine, maybe I should have asked him more about what the hell he was thinking. But even if I did, it wouldn't have mattered—he said things he shouldn't and even when I told him that he still didn't get it.
[Although what's more aggravating is...this isn't actually a new realization, given how readily he admits that he was also in the wrong here. It's something he realized not long after he left, but he's clearly still being too bullheaded on his own stance to do anything about it or think much more of it.]
Just like you didn't understand what your problem was, right?
[ Looking the toothpick over, he laughs a little to himself. Man, he still doesn't get it even after all these years, does he? Damn, little brother. ]
I don't think you really cared what his reasons were or what his story was. You already got it in your head what you wanted from him and you weren't gonna be happy unless you got that exact thing.
[ Flicking the toothpick away, he leans back against the tree, arms tucked behind his head. ]
Well tough shit, little bro. People do things for their own reasons. It's not their fault you don't have enough sense to ask them what the hell those reasons are. And look, I ain't stickin' up for the guy makin' your girlfriend cry. But he doesn't strike me as the type to go around makin' people cry for the hell of it... and somethin' tells me you know why. Maybe you just don't wanna admit it cause it doesn't make you look good.
[To be fair to Shigure, a lot of what he says is on point. Rokurou had been looking for Eizen to admit a particular fault and that never happened. Unfortunately—it's coming from Shigure of all people so it's only natural for the younger brother to immediately put up that defensive wall and basically plug in his ears because the older brother he's hated for most of his life is the last person he wants to hear it from, right or not.
But the other part, which to no fault to Shigure, is that what had really made Rokurou as angry as he had been is due to things that the older Rangetsu doesn't know. And though he might not be referring to it exactly, it's something that he still doesn't want to talk to him about. Does it still justify his how he treated Eizen. Probably not, but many nerves have been struck within the past day or so.
And Shigure, and only Shigure, has the knack of plucking those nerves until they finally snap.]
I know he didn't mean what he said, I even told him that! He still had no reason to tell Serah it was her fault I lost control of my malevolence, especially when it had nothing to do with his goddamn sister! And when I told him this he just stuck with it even though he knows the hell we both went through!
[Yeah that was an explosion he had not meant to have but here we are. Thanks amulets and not allowing things that probably would have been left unsaid just fly out because mental telepathy and all that. Had this been with anyone else—literally, anyone else—he would have handled this better. Probably even touched on the same topics but just calmer, or more willing to admit fault.
[ WELL. He expected something like this to happen since Rokurou has ALWAYS been the more emotional one between them and, yeah, he sure does have a magic touch for pushing the right (or wrong) buttons on him in a way literally no one else can. But it's the fact that it seems like something has spilled out without his meaning to - the whole malevolence part - that has the eldest Rangetsu drop his gaze for a moment and fall silent, fleeting as it is. ]
Calm down, Rokurou.
[ And it's the way he says that... it lacks the usual sort of amusement he often throws at his little brother, always one to tease him whenever he can, adoring the reactions he gets from him because of it. But there's a time and a place (usually) and despite how much of an asshole he can be, he also knows when Rokurou is about five seconds away from losing his mind. So instead, it's firm yet somehow also sympathetic. ]
You're a daemon. Shit like this happens. What's done is done. You gonna sit around and feel guilty about what happened? Beat yourself up over it?
[ No wonder he's the daemon between them. But, just as before, his words lack the amusement they had carried moments prior to this little outburst. ]
You're better than that. Always thought you were.
[ And there's something attached to those words in particular. Something... that feels almost like a sort of... but, anyways.]
As for the misunderstanding? Stupid, like I thought. Don't be such a hothead over every little thing. It's not worth it and you're both wrong, just so you know.
[Again, these are actually pretty good words that are coming out of Shigure's mouth. And if he had been calmer, he actually would have appreciated them—even agree to them. Because Shigure's right, what's done is done. There's no point for him to feel guilty about it because now that he didn't have that stupid fox messing with his mind, he could think straight again and just move on like he usually did.
And he knows that. He knows that deep down. And despite his flared temper, he actually does notice the change in his brother's demeanor, how it sounds like he's actually trying to help and not stoke the fires. To be fair, he's always known that's what Shigure was trying to do from the start, he just had a shitty way of doing it.
So there's just a very long, tense stretch of silence. He wanted to yell at him so much. To just let this swell of anger rise up and explode like it usually does whenever he's around his brother. Shigure may even feel those tongues of flame that seethe through the connection. This feeling remains, but it doesn't cross that threshold. Instead, when Rokurou finally responds, his voice is a little quieter, almost hollow.]
You don't know what it was like.
[It was strange. If it weren't for that seething feeling, one would think he was devoid of emotion from how empty his voice sounded.]
That's all easy for you to say, but you don't know what it was like to have something mess with your head, mess with your very thoughts and emotions. What it's like to have something you can't even fight against twist you around, take all your weaknesses and faults you thought you already settled with and send you spiraling until you try to kill everyone you care about. Try to turn a friend into a dragon. You don't know what it's like to be reminded of how pathetic you used to be and be trapped in that nightmare, needing someone else to pull you out of it at the risk of her own life and almost kill her in the process—twice. To watch yourself do all this and not be able to stop despite desperately trying to.
And you probably never will because you actually have the strength to withstand it.
[Said not with bitterness, but quiet acknowledgment and respect. He is aware of one potential weakness that Gem might have been able to try and take hold of, but even then he fully believes Shigure would have been able to pull himself out without any help.
There's a forced exhale, almost like a sigh.]
You're right, what's done is done, and I don't dwell on it anymore. I'm moving on. And you're right, we're both wrong and stupid. But this happened just a few weeks ago—it's still raw for all of us, more so for Serah than it is for me.
[He then drags his hands over his face, half in disbelief he finally exposed the truth of what happened and just half in exhaustion because he really is tired of all this.]
[ Serah, huh? Just gonna tuck that little piece of information away for another day.
He sort of wishes he hadn't flicked that toothpick away now because, as he listens to Rokurou's words, he sure could use it to chew on in thought. But, well, no toothpick, so staring up at the night sky it is with a lazing Morgrim still resting on his lap.
The smile that touches his lips is one which holds a bit of cockiness to it, as per usual, but also seems a little... touched, maybe, at what Rokurou has to say there about him. ]
Sounds like I missed one hell of a party. Gotta say, I'm a little bummed about that.
[ Said more as a means to lighten the mood some, he hums to himself while eyes continue to rest their gaze up onto the navy blue sky above him. ]
Just take it one day at a time. Eyes forward. Stumble if you gotta, but just get back up, even if you're covered in shit.
[ Because that's all they can do, isn't it? To keep going, no matter what. And, in thinking that and with a glance down to the malak upon his lap, he mulls over something for a moment before he tilts his head back against the tree, looking up to the leaves which cover him in the night. ]
You and I... we've always had different paths, ya know? [ Softly, a chuckle. ] Course you do. I made it a point to make that pretty damn clear from the get-go, right? [ Something he won't ever deny. ] We're both Rangetsu, got that fire in our blood for the way of the sword. But your path has always had others on it with you, if even temporarily. Seems like that even applies to this world for you. Mine on the other hand...
[ He lets his words drift for a moment, not wanting to really SAY IT, though it doesn't necessarily bother him... it's just how it is, the life he's chosen for himself. Yeah. ]
Don't be a dipshit to your buddy.
[ There's a very loud YAWN he makes sure to give over the connection, eyes falling shut as he rests there against the tree. ]
Say you're sorry and move on with your life. Don't look back. That shit don't matter anymore. You read me?
[For once he'll allow that cocky smile—it's appropriate in the given context and by now he expects it. He'll also remain silent, his own eyes close as he actually listens to his brother. Hear that voice that normally grates his nerves even if he so much as said, "Hello." Because this time... This time is just like when they last met.
This time he can hear the sincerity and what his brother is trying to say.
Even if he still has that natural inclination to buck him away, he swallows his damn pride and tries to hear what his brother has to say. Really hear it. Especially when he starts talking about their different paths. It all starts with what he already knows, but when he starts mentioning "others," he catches that hidden meaning and remembers what Morgrim had told him. At the time he still didn't care to know, and frankly he still doesn't. But he does.
He also won't say it, instead just keeping silent until the very end—which, with that very loud YAWN, is a lot more like what he expects from his brother. So there's just a small snort.]
Yeah, yeah.
[A very younger brother response. But that's all it is—he's not actually being dismissive of what his brother said despite his very short response. He absorbed it all, and he will certainly remember that "different paths" thing, specifically that hidden message there.
God he can't believe his brother actually managed to calm him down. Has he really changed that much? (One would actually hope given how much time has passed for him.)]
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.....]
Really? You only now figured that out?
[Honestly he thought Shigure guessed that back when they last met.]
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[ You never know??? ]
She feelin' better now? No more tears? Make her feel all better?
[ Yeah, he might be grinning to himself. ]
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[What is he...you know what, no, he's not going to ask because it might just make him mad. Maybe. DON'T INSULT HER OKAY.
However, the next part is what really grabs his attention.]
All right, what is this really all about?
[Does he...know about what happened? And if he does, who—Eizen. Since they're not in person Shigure won't be able to get the visible cues of Rokurou connecting the dots, but he might feel a sudden flash of annoyance.]
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Just thought I'd check in on ya since, from the sounds of it, you're goin' through a bit of a rough patch with a friend or two.
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Let me guess. Eizen.
[Sigh.]
Thanks for the concern, but I'm fine, thanks. Is that all?
[Said with so much sarcasm.]
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Just wonderin' why you're being a little shit to someone who's supposed to be a friend of yours.
[ And he's smiling as he asks that. ]
Mind you, ain't like he's any better but the guy's clearly desperate if he even takes me for company, don't ya think?
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But.
...Well.
................The last bit does make him wonder a little so. A little begrudgingly—]
What all did he tell you?
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[ He hadn't really pried into what the "misunderstanding" was as he really didn't care because he knew it had to be something stupid and that could have been easily avoided. ]
So you got yourself obsessed with someone else here, do ya? Gonna hope you ain't trying to kill her, too. Not a good way to score dating points there.
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Yeah, there's just another ripple of annoyance because—WELL IT'S NOT STIRRING UP GOOD MEMORIES HERE.]
Sounds like you're the one "obsessed" and more interested in learning about my "girlfriend" than what happened between me and Eizen.
[You keep bringing her up, bro.]
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More like I know how thick your head is when you've got your eye on something and listenin' to reason just flies right out the window for you.
[ Idly, he chews on a toothpick as he sits there under the tree in the night, Morgrim curled up in his lap. ]
What exactly was his side of the story again?
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Does it matter? It was still a dick move no matter the reason, and he refuses to see it.
[This isn't proving Shigure's point or anything, not at all. (Yes it is.) Granted it doesn't help that his older brother already stirred the hornet's nest, if unintentionally, so he's even more less inclined to give in.]
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So why not give him his coin back then? You're right and he's wrong after all, right?
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[ And you can almost hear his mental HMMMMMMMMMMMMM he's giving at that. ]
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No, Eizen is just that big of a stubborn dumbass that he'd just avoid things instead of dealing with them the way he should, and giving his coin would have just made things worse.
[Eizen needs Stormhowl, not his coin. Not that Rokurou would actually explain that, but you know whatever.]
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[ That's all dripping with sarcasm. You know, in case Rokurou can't already tell. ]
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That's not the point!
[So much internal screaming which just translates to an aggravated sigh.]
All right, fine, maybe I should have asked him more about what the hell he was thinking. But even if I did, it wouldn't have mattered—he said things he shouldn't and even when I told him that he still didn't get it.
[Although what's more aggravating is...this isn't actually a new realization, given how readily he admits that he was also in the wrong here. It's something he realized not long after he left, but he's clearly still being too bullheaded on his own stance to do anything about it or think much more of it.]
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[ And there's an amused sort of pause for a moment as he plucks the toothpick from his teeth and looks it over. ]
Did he apologize for what he did?
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[ Looking the toothpick over, he laughs a little to himself. Man, he still doesn't get it even after all these years, does he? Damn, little brother. ]
I don't think you really cared what his reasons were or what his story was. You already got it in your head what you wanted from him and you weren't gonna be happy unless you got that exact thing.
[ Flicking the toothpick away, he leans back against the tree, arms tucked behind his head. ]
Well tough shit, little bro. People do things for their own reasons. It's not their fault you don't have enough sense to ask them what the hell those reasons are. And look, I ain't stickin' up for the guy makin' your girlfriend cry. But he doesn't strike me as the type to go around makin' people cry for the hell of it... and somethin' tells me you know why. Maybe you just don't wanna admit it cause it doesn't make you look good.
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But the other part, which to no fault to Shigure, is that what had really made Rokurou as angry as he had been is due to things that the older Rangetsu doesn't know. And though he might not be referring to it exactly, it's something that he still doesn't want to talk to him about. Does it still justify his how he treated Eizen. Probably not, but many nerves have been struck within the past day or so.
And Shigure, and only Shigure, has the knack of plucking those nerves until they finally snap.]
I know he didn't mean what he said, I even told him that! He still had no reason to tell Serah it was her fault I lost control of my malevolence, especially when it had nothing to do with his goddamn sister! And when I told him this he just stuck with it even though he knows the hell we both went through!
[Yeah that was an explosion he had not meant to have but here we are. Thanks amulets and not allowing things that probably would have been left unsaid just fly out because mental telepathy and all that. Had this been with anyone else—literally, anyone else—he would have handled this better. Probably even touched on the same topics but just calmer, or more willing to admit fault.
But no. It had to be Shigure.]
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Calm down, Rokurou.
[ And it's the way he says that... it lacks the usual sort of amusement he often throws at his little brother, always one to tease him whenever he can, adoring the reactions he gets from him because of it. But there's a time and a place (usually) and despite how much of an asshole he can be, he also knows when Rokurou is about five seconds away from losing his mind. So instead, it's firm yet somehow also sympathetic. ]
You're a daemon. Shit like this happens. What's done is done. You gonna sit around and feel guilty about what happened? Beat yourself up over it?
[ No wonder he's the daemon between them. But, just as before, his words lack the amusement they had carried moments prior to this little outburst. ]
You're better than that. Always thought you were.
[ And there's something attached to those words in particular. Something... that feels almost like a sort of... but, anyways.]
As for the misunderstanding? Stupid, like I thought. Don't be such a hothead over every little thing. It's not worth it and you're both wrong, just so you know.
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And he knows that. He knows that deep down. And despite his flared temper, he actually does notice the change in his brother's demeanor, how it sounds like he's actually trying to help and not stoke the fires. To be fair, he's always known that's what Shigure was trying to do from the start, he just had a shitty way of doing it.
So there's just a very long, tense stretch of silence. He wanted to yell at him so much. To just let this swell of anger rise up and explode like it usually does whenever he's around his brother. Shigure may even feel those tongues of flame that seethe through the connection. This feeling remains, but it doesn't cross that threshold. Instead, when Rokurou finally responds, his voice is a little quieter, almost hollow.]
You don't know what it was like.
[It was strange. If it weren't for that seething feeling, one would think he was devoid of emotion from how empty his voice sounded.]
That's all easy for you to say, but you don't know what it was like to have something mess with your head, mess with your very thoughts and emotions. What it's like to have something you can't even fight against twist you around, take all your weaknesses and faults you thought you already settled with and send you spiraling until you try to kill everyone you care about. Try to turn a friend into a dragon. You don't know what it's like to be reminded of how pathetic you used to be and be trapped in that nightmare, needing someone else to pull you out of it at the risk of her own life and almost kill her in the process—twice. To watch yourself do all this and not be able to stop despite desperately trying to.
And you probably never will because you actually have the strength to withstand it.
[Said not with bitterness, but quiet acknowledgment and respect. He is aware of one potential weakness that Gem might have been able to try and take hold of, but even then he fully believes Shigure would have been able to pull himself out without any help.
There's a forced exhale, almost like a sigh.]
You're right, what's done is done, and I don't dwell on it anymore. I'm moving on. And you're right, we're both wrong and stupid. But this happened just a few weeks ago—it's still raw for all of us, more so for Serah than it is for me.
[He then drags his hands over his face, half in disbelief he finally exposed the truth of what happened and just half in exhaustion because he really is tired of all this.]
So now you know.
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He sort of wishes he hadn't flicked that toothpick away now because, as he listens to Rokurou's words, he sure could use it to chew on in thought. But, well, no toothpick, so staring up at the night sky it is with a lazing Morgrim still resting on his lap.
The smile that touches his lips is one which holds a bit of cockiness to it, as per usual, but also seems a little... touched, maybe, at what Rokurou has to say there about him. ]
Sounds like I missed one hell of a party. Gotta say, I'm a little bummed about that.
[ Said more as a means to lighten the mood some, he hums to himself while eyes continue to rest their gaze up onto the navy blue sky above him. ]
Just take it one day at a time. Eyes forward. Stumble if you gotta, but just get back up, even if you're covered in shit.
[ Because that's all they can do, isn't it? To keep going, no matter what. And, in thinking that and with a glance down to the malak upon his lap, he mulls over something for a moment before he tilts his head back against the tree, looking up to the leaves which cover him in the night. ]
You and I... we've always had different paths, ya know? [ Softly, a chuckle. ] Course you do. I made it a point to make that pretty damn clear from the get-go, right? [ Something he won't ever deny. ] We're both Rangetsu, got that fire in our blood for the way of the sword. But your path has always had others on it with you, if even temporarily. Seems like that even applies to this world for you. Mine on the other hand...
[ He lets his words drift for a moment, not wanting to really SAY IT, though it doesn't necessarily bother him... it's just how it is, the life he's chosen for himself. Yeah. ]
Don't be a dipshit to your buddy.
[ There's a very loud YAWN he makes sure to give over the connection, eyes falling shut as he rests there against the tree. ]
Say you're sorry and move on with your life. Don't look back. That shit don't matter anymore. You read me?
[ You're still here despite it all. ]
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This time he can hear the sincerity and what his brother is trying to say.
Even if he still has that natural inclination to buck him away, he swallows his damn pride and tries to hear what his brother has to say. Really hear it. Especially when he starts talking about their different paths. It all starts with what he already knows, but when he starts mentioning "others," he catches that hidden meaning and remembers what Morgrim had told him. At the time he still didn't care to know, and frankly he still doesn't. But he does.
He also won't say it, instead just keeping silent until the very end—which, with that very loud YAWN, is a lot more like what he expects from his brother. So there's just a small snort.]
Yeah, yeah.
[A very younger brother response. But that's all it is—he's not actually being dismissive of what his brother said despite his very short response. He absorbed it all, and he will certainly remember that "different paths" thing, specifically that hidden message there.
God he can't believe his brother actually managed to calm him down. Has he really changed that much? (One would actually hope given how much time has passed for him.)]
So where'd you leave him?
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