It's one of the few pleasures I have. [Something that balances out his bloodthirst.
Although...speaking of him and being a daemon, something does come to mind. He's quiet for a moment as he considers whether it's okay to share or not. That he is hesitant for his own sake, but whether it might potentially be too heavy. But since Trunks shared his fears...]
But all right, here's a real secret, from the time I first became a daemon. Ready for it?
[Scared, that is. It's an almost immediate answer as he just stares up at his ceiling, recalling those moments. And as he speaks, he's casual about it as always, recounting it like he was recounting a day at work—just another story to tell.]
When I turned into a daemon, I was in prison sentenced to life. I already had enough pent up rage, hatred, and pride that it didn't really take much more to send me over. But I also had a lot of fear—fear of what was going to happen to me, fear of the humiliation I felt, fear of dying.
[A small laugh.]
I was pretty messed up at that point, and when it finally happened... [Eeehnnn let's not go into details.] I'm proud of being a daemon now, but I definitely wasn't at first. Maybe it was because it was the transition of losing my humanity, but I was so scared of what I'd become and why it happened. Like how could I lose myself that bad, how could I be so weak to let this happen—or so desperate to want it.
But then I realized that it was because I let those emotions take over that it happened, and that if I wanted to be stronger I had to not only deal with it but also accept it. Which was easier as a daemon, I admit.
[And that he could turn his new strength and use it to help seek revenge and kill his brother but Trunks doesn't need to know that right away. Another laugh before he looks over at Trunks.]
And there you go. That's my secret.
[Maybe not a big secret since he actually doesn't mind too much about sharing, buuuut...he'd probably prefer not admitting all of it if he could.]
[ Trunks is quiet as he listens. Even though he might not be able to understand how such an experience, if you will, can feel, he can see that it was something difficult for Rokurou to go through and it's after he tells him this tale that he gently sends a nudge of warmth over to the daemon, perhaps as a quiet means of reassurance.
And, it's after a moment, that Trunks pulls his hand out from under his pillow and uncurls his fist, looking to the small pebble in his palm. ]
I think there's still some of your humanity left inside you. Maybe it's not as much as when you weren't a daemon... but I think you still have some inside you somewhere.
At this point, it's going to be impossible for me to forget.
[Whether he believes he actually has any of that humanity left, eeeeh. But then again, he's the type to be whatever he wants and probably just uses the "humans" and "daemons" as labels to keep things simple for others. So Trunks might be right—there may be something still there hidden deep...deep down.]
And you've still got more? [He can't help but chuckle.] All right, what is it?
[Can one tell if someone has fallen asleep? After several long seconds and given the time of night, Rokurou can only assume so. So he just grins a little.]
Goodnight, Trunks. ...Thanks for the letter.
[Just a quiet murmur before the connection cuts out and Rokurou will spend the next few hours staring either at the ceiling of his room or out the window as he mulls over everything that just transpired.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ Come on, Rokurou!! These are clear rules of friendship. ]
It has to be something you don't tell other people and then I won't tell anyone.
no subject
[There's stuff he doesn't say outright, but if someone asked he'd pretty much give either full or edited disclosure depending on who it is.
So...secret...secret.......... UUUHHHHM.]
There's a stash of alcohol I keep away from the rest of the crew, does that count?
[No, he sucks at this. Surely he has some juicy secret
that I'll think up]no subject
You must really like alcohol a lot, huh?
[ He turns a little. ]
I'm not even old enough to buy you any though. So that doesn't help much.
no subject
It's one of the few pleasures I have. [Something that balances out his bloodthirst.
Although...speaking of him and being a daemon, something does come to mind. He's quiet for a moment as he considers whether it's okay to share or not. That he is hesitant for his own sake, but whether it might potentially be too heavy. But since Trunks shared his fears...]
But all right, here's a real secret, from the time I first became a daemon. Ready for it?
no subject
Yeah. I'm not scared.
[ Not of this, at least. ]
no subject
[Scared, that is. It's an almost immediate answer as he just stares up at his ceiling, recalling those moments. And as he speaks, he's casual about it as always, recounting it like he was recounting a day at work—just another story to tell.]
When I turned into a daemon, I was in prison sentenced to life. I already had enough pent up rage, hatred, and pride that it didn't really take much more to send me over. But I also had a lot of fear—fear of what was going to happen to me, fear of the humiliation I felt, fear of dying.
[A small laugh.]
I was pretty messed up at that point, and when it finally happened... [Eeehnnn let's not go into details.] I'm proud of being a daemon now, but I definitely wasn't at first. Maybe it was because it was the transition of losing my humanity, but I was so scared of what I'd become and why it happened. Like how could I lose myself that bad, how could I be so weak to let this happen—or so desperate to want it.
But then I realized that it was because I let those emotions take over that it happened, and that if I wanted to be stronger I had to not only deal with it but also accept it. Which was easier as a daemon, I admit.
[And that he could turn his new strength and use it to help seek revenge and kill his brother but Trunks doesn't need to know that right away. Another laugh before he looks over at Trunks.]
And there you go. That's my secret.
[Maybe not a big secret since he actually doesn't mind too much about sharing, buuuut...he'd probably prefer not admitting all of it if he could.]
no subject
And, it's after a moment, that Trunks pulls his hand out from under his pillow and uncurls his fist, looking to the small pebble in his palm. ]
I think there's still some of your humanity left inside you. Maybe it's not as much as when you weren't a daemon... but I think you still have some inside you somewhere.
[ A beat. ]
No, I know you do.
no subject
Oh yeah? Because of what you said in your letter?
no subject
[ And he sounds rather confident as he murmurs that. ]
So you better not forget. No matter what.
[ Gently, fingers curl around the pebble again and it's after a pause that he speaks again. ]
Hey, Rokurou... there's... something else I wanna tell you...
no subject
[Whether he believes he actually has any of that humanity left, eeeeh. But then again, he's the type to be whatever he wants and probably just uses the "humans" and "daemons" as labels to keep things simple for others. So Trunks might be right—there may be something still there hidden deep...deep down.]
And you've still got more? [He can't help but chuckle.] All right, what is it?
no subject
However, this shall remain a mystery as the smol boy has drifted to sleep, hand still curled around his pebble.
Maybe next time, Rokurou. ]
no subject
Trunks? [Blink blink.] Trunks...?
[Can one tell if someone has fallen asleep? After several long seconds and given the time of night, Rokurou can only assume so. So he just grins a little.]
Goodnight, Trunks. ...Thanks for the letter.
[Just a quiet murmur before the connection cuts out and Rokurou will spend the next few hours staring either at the ceiling of his room or out the window as he mulls over everything that just transpired.]