[Well maybe not barge... He does happen to be dropping by, maybe ask if she wants to have dinner together or something not a date (ssssh just because they have telepathic communication doesn't mean he has to use it), and just as he's about to knock on her door, he pauses when he thinks he hears something. Leaning in a little closer, he definitely hears what sounds like a sob.
Now alarmed, he calls out from outside first.]
Serah?
[After testing the door, he quickly opens it and upon seeing her so visibly upset, he feels like an anchor of dread suddenly drop into the pit of his stomach. In just a few long strides he's immediately at her side.]
Hey, what happened?
[He is trying very hard to be calm, but he's already starting to feel ripples of unease.
[She hadn't realized what kind of things had happened, especially since Eizen hadn't really opened up about what had happened to him prior to him picking up Rokurou from his fight with Gem, but today that had kind of changed. If she would have known that all that happened, or that it would happen, would things be different?
She doesn't have much time to react to Rokurou's voice before he's inside and fretting over her. So instead she reacts to that and asking her what had happened, and--]
Was it really because of me that you went all malevolent and made Eizen... like he is with the wings and stuff?
[Rokurou just stares at her a bit blankly, his eyes widening a little at her sudden question.]
What...? No, of course not!
[......Okay she might have been a great part of his initial "instability" if one can even call it that prior to Gem arriving, and it certainly didn't help matters as it did feed into Gem's effects. But he'd never actually say or think she was the reason for him going berserk. A part of it? Okay, sure. The cause? No.]
What gave you that idea? [—No.] Who told you that?
[...please forgive her for tattling, Eizen, but you were mean. :(]
It-- Eizen contacted me and said you were hitting on his sister, but... [sniffle, sob] he said it was because of your feeling for me that you went crazy. That's what caused everything with him, right...
[Getting allllll of it: both that he was hitting on Edna and that it was partially her fault that Rokurou lost it. 8) Have fun with that knowledge, Roku!]
[He—Eizen—Edna—what??? There are varying stages of bewilderment as Rokurou tries to process this mess of information before he just closes his eyes, shakes his head, and moves closer to sit next to Serah. That stupid pirate's siscon problems aside, what's more important is that Serah is thinking about her involvement in what happened to him.]
Hey. [He reaches over to gently cup her face and turn it towards him, thumb lightly brushing away those tear trails.] Listen to me.
I won't lie to you—when Gem appeared I was already a little out of sorts because of what was going on between us, and those thoughts and feelings I had for you did have some influence in why I lost control. But— [He's going to quickly preempt her from trying to cut in, even placing a finger over her lips before he once again caresses her. She can save her argument for after he's finished.] That still doesn't make it your fault. It was Gem, you have to remember that. I would have been perfectly fine if it wasn't for her twisting not only my feelings for you, but also my own issues and insecurities that fed into my malevolence. And because I couldn't keep it together, I'm as much to blame as well.
As for what happened with Eizen, it's the same thing. I was out of my mind and he was stupid enough to try and find me knowing full well what it would do to him.
So don't blame yourself, okay? None of this would have happened if I had just accepted things in the first place and if Gem hadn't appeared. Besides, it's those very same feelings that helped me out of it, remember?
[He's right to try to stop her from interjecting, because she was going to. Instead, with his stopping her, she stays quiet to listen to him and his words, aside from the occasional stifled sob and sniffles. He does have a point though, and that's that it was because of the same feelings that made him lose his mind that she could pull him out of his war daemon mode. Not once, but twice.
...but that it was because of everything involving her still does not make her Feel Very Good about what was said, even if Eizen was bullshitting because he didn't want to just come out and admit he was protective of his sister.
So far, she's not offering any argument against what he's saying, not when she can still start up the crying again, so instead she nods and for now, just leans into him for comfort, head resting on his shoulder.]
[This is a bit difficult to handle since...well, he can't say she had no part in his losing control. He even remembers what he yelled at Eizen, blaming him for forcing him to confront those very feelings. But he can't tell her that, at least not right now when she might take it the wrong way or use it as another reason to blame herself.
So he just adjusts when she leans into him, moving his arm around her to hold her close to him, his head lightly resting against hers. Mentally he's cussing Eizen out for saying whatever the crap he did that led to this, already planning on finding the damn pirate to kick his ass later. But for now he just stays quiet, letting Serah take as much time as she needs.]
[She knows she had a hand in it, even if it was indirectly, and that's the worst part of it all. The fact that she was more bothered by that than the mention of "your lecher boyfriend had his hands on my sister" is probably saying a lot right now.
Once she's calm enough to try to talk, she'll move away from him just enough to be comfortable again, though there's still some wibble here and there.]
Is he... is he just really protective of his sister too...? But why bring up my indirect help in... in that if he was worried about his sister?
[Please stop wibbling, it makes him want to punch Eizen even more. And he can't help but click his tongue at that, a small ripple of anger that can be felt through the room.]
Saying he's "overprotective" is an understatement. But it doesn't even matter, there's no reason why he should have brought you in at all. That guy was just being a damn idiot.
[Somehow managed to restrain himself from saying anything worse, but he's clearly irritated by this.]
So what did he say I did and how was this all brought up again?
That my lecherous boyfriend had his hands all over Eizen's sister. That I needed to watch out for you because you were hitting on older women and couldn't keep your hands to yourself.
[And she still doesn't sound bothered by that. She trusts Rokurou for one, and for two, they aren't official yet so what does she care if he wants to get the last of hitting on other women out of him before they are?!]
[He can tell by her tone that she doesn't really believe that stupid malak, and that's either because it sounds stupid, she trusts him, or it doesn't matter too much since they're not committed yet (officially). Probably a bit of everything. Either way, he just let's out a long, drawn out sigh.]
Yeah, he's being overdramatic. The "hands all over" his sister? All I did was just put them on her shoulders to provoke him to come out from hiding in Stormhowl. He was refusing to face her otherwise.
[There's another sigh, but this time it's a more tired one.]
It's...complicated. Probably not really my place to say, but I can say this much. Eizen loves his sister to the point that he would leave and never see her to protect her because of his curse.
[He then raises a hand.]
If you want to learn more, you'll have to ask him when he's cleared his head—[ie, once Rokurou has finished pummeling it.]—or Edna herself. You'd probably get a better account from her.
It's kinda hard not to, knowing I'm still indirectly responsible for all of that. I didn't realize that was it, you know...?
[She knew Rokurou had lost his mind when he had seen her and the necklace, but... not that after that he was found by Eizen and all of that had happened. It's too bad that it couldn't have just stayed unknown, but here they were.
Don't mind her, just trying not to start crying again.]
He can feel her trying to hold it in, see it in her face how guilty she feels. It's time like these he really feels that twist in his chest, that sudden need to do everything he can to comfort her. To make her not feel that way anymore.
Slowly he moves so that a hand is behind her head as he brings her in for a stronger embrace.]
I'll say it as many times as I need to—it wasn't your fault. And if you are going to blame yourself, then I'm going to share in it since I was the one who couldn't figure things out and keep it together.
But I'll never blame you, Serah. And I'll never regret having those feelings. If anything, I'm grateful for it.
[It was for this reason that she liked him as much as she did. His caring and gentleness with her when it was needed, and his normal carefree and quick to tease smile when he was happy... all of it was a good mix. And despite his outburst when Gem came to town, right now? She felt safe. That she could believe his words, that he meant them. They weren't empty.
Yeah, he was a daemon. He was a war daemon, one that loved fighting and death and making his enemies dead. He loved all of that... but he also didn't just have empty words to give her to make her feel better. He respected her. And he does things like this, to help comfort her. The loose grip on him tightens and she nods against him.
He's right. Those feelings, despite having gone nuts over, was what helped to bring him out of that rampage. She mumbles a thank you against him and sighs, hoping to relax a little.]
[Feeling her nod and grip tightening,and hearing that mumbled thank you makes him wonder if she really believes what he said or if she still needs to think it over more. He's not sure, but he's going to hope that she did believe him and just presses his lips against the top of her head for a light kiss, similar to how he did back in that flower field when she had fallen asleep in what feels like ages ago now.
He doesn't say or do anything much more, just continues to hold her closer and lightly strokes the back of her hair in a soothing manner.
It is hard to believe that someone like him could really be this gentle and kind to someone else. He's never been truly mean to anyone, unless killing in cold blood counts and his brother is automatically excluded. But he's never been this close, shown this much affection, or opened himself to allow someone to take comfort in him like this before. Nor has he ever felt such a strong desire to protect anyone like this. Out of duty and loyalty, even as friends, sure. But this is more personal. Just seeing her so upset actually makes him feel bad, and while he can be empathetic to others, this is different. Again, it's going on a deeper, more personal level than just simple understanding.
Most of all, he doesn't like how she blames herself for something that he takes responsibility for. It's just another reminder that if he had a stronger will, hadn't been so indecisive and just accepted Eizen's advice, things might not have gotten so bad. He needed to become stronger, to—
Stop worrying about the little things.
...Ugh. He just had to hear his brother's voice now of all times. But that's just what happened, wasn't it? If he wants to protect her, to make her not feel like this again, he was going to have to continue strengthening himself.
And he really does feel that way. Regardless of what ends up happening between them, whether they continue down this path or have to part ways, he wants to be able to protect and keep that smile he unknowingly fell for.]
[Once she's calmed herself enough, really knocking out any negative thoughts with his words to dispel them, she moves away from him just enough to look up and smile. It's not one of her blinding smiles that likely give her sparkles and sunshine around her, no. It's more subdued, more grateful than happy, but it's still there. A smile that he caused, no less!
But like this, when he's gentle and caring? It feels as if there is no daemon side to him. Just a human with a strong and competitive side, and then a strong and caring side. Who he probably was before his anger and jealousy got the better of him and invaded his being to turn him slowly into the daemon he would become much later in his life. Seeing this side after seeing so much of his normal behaviour and demeanor is nice. A side only she sees and knows, she doesn't have to share with anyone else, maybe? Maybe, maybe not, but she'd like to think it's like that.]
Thanks, Pupperou. I think I'm feeling a little better.
[It may not be her brightest one, but it's a smile no less and he returns it with one of his own warm ones. Even when she uses that silly nickname, which just makes the corner of his mouth twitch just a little in some amusement.]
Anything for my princess. [A little tease, but he also means it...cheesy as it might sound without the context.] I can stick around if you need me to. Or get you something if you want.
[He doesn't have to stay with her if she doesn't really need or want him to (and he partly may be more willing to leave so he could go visit a certain someone), but he doesn't want to leave her until he knows that she'll be all right. ...And he's kind of comfortable, so he's in no real rush, someone's impending doom notwithstanding.]
Princess, huh... [Well, it makes sense with the princess kitty she has from him. It gets a chuckle out of her at least.] I guess I'm a little thirsty, but that's really it. [Maybe a little tired from being upset.]
...but I wouldn't mind it if you stayed for a little while.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
after her chat with Eizen being a siscon lmao
Asking for a friend.]
he's going to kill him
not a date(ssssh just because they have telepathic communication doesn't mean he has to use it), and just as he's about to knock on her door, he pauses when he thinks he hears something. Leaning in a little closer, he definitely hears what sounds like a sob.Now alarmed, he calls out from outside first.]
Serah?
[After testing the door, he quickly opens it and upon seeing her so visibly upset, he feels like an anchor of dread suddenly drop into the pit of his stomach. In just a few long strides he's immediately at her side.]
Hey, what happened?
[He is trying very hard to be calm, but he's already starting to feel ripples of unease.
WHO HURT HER AND WHO DOES HE NEED TO KILL—]
go easy on him Roku, he was being dumb
She doesn't have much time to react to Rokurou's voice before he's inside and fretting over her. So instead she reacts to that and asking her what had happened, and--]
Was it really because of me that you went all malevolent and made Eizen... like he is with the wings and stuff?
going easy is not in his dictionary
What...? No, of course not!
[......Okay she might have been a great part of his initial "instability" if one can even call it that prior to Gem arriving, and it certainly didn't help matters as it did feed into Gem's effects. But he'd never actually say or think she was the reason for him going berserk. A part of it? Okay, sure. The cause? No.]
What gave you that idea? [—No.] Who told you that?
ok don't make him into more of a dragon 8|
It-- Eizen contacted me and said you were hitting on his sister, but... [sniffle, sob] he said it was because of your feeling for me that you went crazy. That's what caused everything with him, right...
[Getting allllll of it: both that he was hitting on Edna and that it was partially her fault that Rokurou lost it. 8) Have fun with that knowledge, Roku!]
/too late/
Hey. [He reaches over to gently cup her face and turn it towards him, thumb lightly brushing away those tear trails.] Listen to me.
I won't lie to you—when Gem appeared I was already a little out of sorts because of what was going on between us, and those thoughts and feelings I had for you did have some influence in why I lost control. But— [He's going to quickly preempt her from trying to cut in, even placing a finger over her lips before he once again caresses her. She can save her argument for after he's finished.] That still doesn't make it your fault. It was Gem, you have to remember that. I would have been perfectly fine if it wasn't for her twisting not only my feelings for you, but also my own issues and insecurities that fed into my malevolence. And because I couldn't keep it together, I'm as much to blame as well.
As for what happened with Eizen, it's the same thing. I was out of my mind and he was stupid enough to try and find me knowing full well what it would do to him.
So don't blame yourself, okay? None of this would have happened if I had just accepted things in the first place and if Gem hadn't appeared. Besides, it's those very same feelings that helped me out of it, remember?
8|!!!
...but that it was because of everything involving her still does not make her Feel Very Good about what was said, even if Eizen was bullshitting because he didn't want to just come out and admit he was protective of his sister.
So far, she's not offering any argument against what he's saying, not when she can still start up the crying again, so instead she nods and for now, just leans into him for comfort, head resting on his shoulder.]
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So he just adjusts when she leans into him, moving his arm around her to hold her close to him, his head lightly resting against hers. Mentally he's cussing Eizen out for saying whatever the crap he did that led to this, already planning on finding the damn pirate to kick his ass later. But for now he just stays quiet, letting Serah take as much time as she needs.]
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Once she's calm enough to try to talk, she'll move away from him just enough to be comfortable again, though there's still some wibble here and there.]
Is he... is he just really protective of his sister too...? But why bring up my indirect help in... in that if he was worried about his sister?
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Saying he's "overprotective" is an understatement. But it doesn't even matter, there's no reason why he should have brought you in at all. That guy was just being a damn idiot.
[Somehow managed to restrain himself from saying anything worse, but he's clearly irritated by this.]
So what did he say I did and how was this all brought up again?
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[And she still doesn't sound bothered by that. She trusts Rokurou for one, and for two, they aren't official yet so what does she care if he wants to get the last of hitting on other women out of him before they are?!]
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Yeah, he's being overdramatic. The "hands all over" his sister? All I did was just put them on her shoulders to provoke him to come out from hiding in Stormhowl. He was refusing to face her otherwise.
He's an idiot with a sister complex.
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[Mainly because right after that is when he cut their connection and told her to have a good night.]
But why would he... not want to see his sister? I don't understand. That's all I wanted when Lightning was gone.
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It's...complicated. Probably not really my place to say, but I can say this much. Eizen loves his sister to the point that he would leave and never see her to protect her because of his curse.
[He then raises a hand.]
If you want to learn more, you'll have to ask him when he's cleared his head—[ie, once Rokurou has finished pummeling it.]—or Edna herself. You'd probably get a better account from her.
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But... if she's like Eizen, would I be able to see her too? Or would she be like Laphicet and I would only hear her?
[Ugh, but this is all... a Lot about Eizen. She puts her head back on his shoulder with a loose loop of her arms around his waist.]
This is all so... so stupid, I'm sorry.
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[Feeling her lean back into him, his raised hand first lightly brushes against her cheek before it lowers to rest over her arm.]
But don't be sorry. This is all Eizen's fault to begin with.
[A small pause.]
...You don't still blame yourself, do you?
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[She knew Rokurou had lost his mind when he had seen her and the necklace, but... not that after that he was found by Eizen and all of that had happened. It's too bad that it couldn't have just stayed unknown, but here they were.
Don't mind her, just trying not to start crying again.]
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He can feel her trying to hold it in, see it in her face how guilty she feels. It's time like these he really feels that twist in his chest, that sudden need to do everything he can to comfort her. To make her not feel that way anymore.
Slowly he moves so that a hand is behind her head as he brings her in for a stronger embrace.]
I'll say it as many times as I need to—it wasn't your fault. And if you are going to blame yourself, then I'm going to share in it since I was the one who couldn't figure things out and keep it together.
But I'll never blame you, Serah. And I'll never regret having those feelings. If anything, I'm grateful for it.
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Yeah, he was a daemon. He was a war daemon, one that loved fighting and death and making his enemies dead. He loved all of that... but he also didn't just have empty words to give her to make her feel better. He respected her. And he does things like this, to help comfort her. The loose grip on him tightens and she nods against him.
He's right. Those feelings, despite having gone nuts over, was what helped to bring him out of that rampage. She mumbles a thank you against him and sighs, hoping to relax a little.]
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He doesn't say or do anything much more, just continues to hold her closer and lightly strokes the back of her hair in a soothing manner.
It is hard to believe that someone like him could really be this gentle and kind to someone else. He's never been truly mean to anyone, unless killing in cold blood counts and his brother is automatically excluded. But he's never been this close, shown this much affection, or opened himself to allow someone to take comfort in him like this before. Nor has he ever felt such a strong desire to protect anyone like this. Out of duty and loyalty, even as friends, sure. But this is more personal. Just seeing her so upset actually makes him feel bad, and while he can be empathetic to others, this is different. Again, it's going on a deeper, more personal level than just simple understanding.
Most of all, he doesn't like how she blames herself for something that he takes responsibility for. It's just another reminder that if he had a stronger will, hadn't been so indecisive and just accepted Eizen's advice, things might not have gotten so bad. He needed to become stronger, to—
Stop worrying about the little things.
...Ugh. He just had to hear his brother's voice now of all times. But that's just what happened, wasn't it? If he wants to protect her, to make her not feel like this again, he was going to have to continue strengthening himself.
And he really does feel that way. Regardless of what ends up happening between them, whether they continue down this path or have to part ways, he wants to be able to protect and keep that smile he unknowingly fell for.]
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But like this, when he's gentle and caring? It feels as if there is no daemon side to him. Just a human with a strong and competitive side, and then a strong and caring side. Who he probably was before his anger and jealousy got the better of him and invaded his being to turn him slowly into the daemon he would become much later in his life. Seeing this side after seeing so much of his normal behaviour and demeanor is nice. A side only she sees and knows, she doesn't have to share with anyone else, maybe? Maybe, maybe not, but she'd like to think it's like that.]
Thanks, Pupperou. I think I'm feeling a little better.
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Anything for my princess. [A little tease, but he also means it...cheesy as it might sound without the context.] I can stick around if you need me to. Or get you something if you want.
[He doesn't have to stay with her if she doesn't really need or want him to (and he partly may be more willing to leave so he could go visit a certain someone), but he doesn't want to leave her until he knows that she'll be all right. ...And he's kind of comfortable, so he's in no real rush, someone's impending doom notwithstanding.]
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...but I wouldn't mind it if you stayed for a little while.
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He gives her one last comforting rub of her arms before he pulls back to stand.]
Let me go get you some water.
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[Before he leaves though, he gets a tight hug, almost a cling. She's glad he's here, and is almost reluctant to let him go, even for a moment.]
Be quick?
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