I won't—I promised, remember? [Just another brainwave pat.
But then he kind of leans back on his own pillow, staring up at the ceiling as he mulls over Trunks secret fears.] Do you need any help or anything? To help you deal with it? I know you're a tough kid, but it's bound to drag you down if you keep it to yourself all the time.
It would make for an interesting challenge I'll admit. [A light grin.] But nah, I mean here—not that I'm sure what to offer, either. All I can think about is training.
Since you're not sure what's going on at home, might as well try to do what you can here. You already started up the Knights of Thras, might as well go all the way. Who knows, maybe if we figure out how this whole world travel thing works, you could actually take that training back with you and kick his ass.
[He COULD say the possibility of Mr. Mean Guy coming into this world, but why make things worse...]
It's one of the few pleasures I have. [Something that balances out his bloodthirst.
Although...speaking of him and being a daemon, something does come to mind. He's quiet for a moment as he considers whether it's okay to share or not. That he is hesitant for his own sake, but whether it might potentially be too heavy. But since Trunks shared his fears...]
But all right, here's a real secret, from the time I first became a daemon. Ready for it?
[Scared, that is. It's an almost immediate answer as he just stares up at his ceiling, recalling those moments. And as he speaks, he's casual about it as always, recounting it like he was recounting a day at work—just another story to tell.]
When I turned into a daemon, I was in prison sentenced to life. I already had enough pent up rage, hatred, and pride that it didn't really take much more to send me over. But I also had a lot of fear—fear of what was going to happen to me, fear of the humiliation I felt, fear of dying.
[A small laugh.]
I was pretty messed up at that point, and when it finally happened... [Eeehnnn let's not go into details.] I'm proud of being a daemon now, but I definitely wasn't at first. Maybe it was because it was the transition of losing my humanity, but I was so scared of what I'd become and why it happened. Like how could I lose myself that bad, how could I be so weak to let this happen—or so desperate to want it.
But then I realized that it was because I let those emotions take over that it happened, and that if I wanted to be stronger I had to not only deal with it but also accept it. Which was easier as a daemon, I admit.
[And that he could turn his new strength and use it to help seek revenge and kill his brother but Trunks doesn't need to know that right away. Another laugh before he looks over at Trunks.]
And there you go. That's my secret.
[Maybe not a big secret since he actually doesn't mind too much about sharing, buuuut...he'd probably prefer not admitting all of it if he could.]
[ Trunks is quiet as he listens. Even though he might not be able to understand how such an experience, if you will, can feel, he can see that it was something difficult for Rokurou to go through and it's after he tells him this tale that he gently sends a nudge of warmth over to the daemon, perhaps as a quiet means of reassurance.
And, it's after a moment, that Trunks pulls his hand out from under his pillow and uncurls his fist, looking to the small pebble in his palm. ]
I think there's still some of your humanity left inside you. Maybe it's not as much as when you weren't a daemon... but I think you still have some inside you somewhere.
At this point, it's going to be impossible for me to forget.
[Whether he believes he actually has any of that humanity left, eeeeh. But then again, he's the type to be whatever he wants and probably just uses the "humans" and "daemons" as labels to keep things simple for others. So Trunks might be right—there may be something still there hidden deep...deep down.]
And you've still got more? [He can't help but chuckle.] All right, what is it?
[Can one tell if someone has fallen asleep? After several long seconds and given the time of night, Rokurou can only assume so. So he just grins a little.]
Goodnight, Trunks. ...Thanks for the letter.
[Just a quiet murmur before the connection cuts out and Rokurou will spend the next few hours staring either at the ceiling of his room or out the window as he mulls over everything that just transpired.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But then he kind of leans back on his own pillow, staring up at the ceiling as he mulls over Trunks secret fears.] Do you need any help or anything? To help you deal with it? I know you're a tough kid, but it's bound to drag you down if you keep it to yourself all the time.
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[ Wouldn't that be something if it were possible to bring Rokurou back home with him. ]
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It would make for an interesting challenge I'll admit. [A light grin.] But nah, I mean here—not that I'm sure what to offer, either. All I can think about is training.
Since you're not sure what's going on at home, might as well try to do what you can here. You already started up the Knights of Thras, might as well go all the way. Who knows, maybe if we figure out how this whole world travel thing works, you could actually take that training back with you and kick his ass.
[He COULD say the possibility of Mr. Mean Guy coming into this world, but why make things worse...]
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[ Because he and Rokurou still need to do more of that, it's true. But, Trunks comes to slowly smile to himself, head resting against his pillow. ]
Thanks, Rokurou.
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[But there's a grin, one that widens just a bit when he hears the thanks, sensing that the boy's mood is improving if even for a little bit.]
Now, isn't it past your bedtime?
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Only after you tell me a secret.
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[ Come on, Rokurou!! These are clear rules of friendship. ]
It has to be something you don't tell other people and then I won't tell anyone.
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[There's stuff he doesn't say outright, but if someone asked he'd pretty much give either full or edited disclosure depending on who it is.
So...secret...secret.......... UUUHHHHM.]
There's a stash of alcohol I keep away from the rest of the crew, does that count?
[No, he sucks at this. Surely he has some juicy secret
that I'll think up]no subject
You must really like alcohol a lot, huh?
[ He turns a little. ]
I'm not even old enough to buy you any though. So that doesn't help much.
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It's one of the few pleasures I have. [Something that balances out his bloodthirst.
Although...speaking of him and being a daemon, something does come to mind. He's quiet for a moment as he considers whether it's okay to share or not. That he is hesitant for his own sake, but whether it might potentially be too heavy. But since Trunks shared his fears...]
But all right, here's a real secret, from the time I first became a daemon. Ready for it?
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Yeah. I'm not scared.
[ Not of this, at least. ]
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[Scared, that is. It's an almost immediate answer as he just stares up at his ceiling, recalling those moments. And as he speaks, he's casual about it as always, recounting it like he was recounting a day at work—just another story to tell.]
When I turned into a daemon, I was in prison sentenced to life. I already had enough pent up rage, hatred, and pride that it didn't really take much more to send me over. But I also had a lot of fear—fear of what was going to happen to me, fear of the humiliation I felt, fear of dying.
[A small laugh.]
I was pretty messed up at that point, and when it finally happened... [Eeehnnn let's not go into details.] I'm proud of being a daemon now, but I definitely wasn't at first. Maybe it was because it was the transition of losing my humanity, but I was so scared of what I'd become and why it happened. Like how could I lose myself that bad, how could I be so weak to let this happen—or so desperate to want it.
But then I realized that it was because I let those emotions take over that it happened, and that if I wanted to be stronger I had to not only deal with it but also accept it. Which was easier as a daemon, I admit.
[And that he could turn his new strength and use it to help seek revenge and kill his brother but Trunks doesn't need to know that right away. Another laugh before he looks over at Trunks.]
And there you go. That's my secret.
[Maybe not a big secret since he actually doesn't mind too much about sharing, buuuut...he'd probably prefer not admitting all of it if he could.]
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And, it's after a moment, that Trunks pulls his hand out from under his pillow and uncurls his fist, looking to the small pebble in his palm. ]
I think there's still some of your humanity left inside you. Maybe it's not as much as when you weren't a daemon... but I think you still have some inside you somewhere.
[ A beat. ]
No, I know you do.
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Oh yeah? Because of what you said in your letter?
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[ And he sounds rather confident as he murmurs that. ]
So you better not forget. No matter what.
[ Gently, fingers curl around the pebble again and it's after a pause that he speaks again. ]
Hey, Rokurou... there's... something else I wanna tell you...
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[Whether he believes he actually has any of that humanity left, eeeeh. But then again, he's the type to be whatever he wants and probably just uses the "humans" and "daemons" as labels to keep things simple for others. So Trunks might be right—there may be something still there hidden deep...deep down.]
And you've still got more? [He can't help but chuckle.] All right, what is it?
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However, this shall remain a mystery as the smol boy has drifted to sleep, hand still curled around his pebble.
Maybe next time, Rokurou. ]
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Trunks? [Blink blink.] Trunks...?
[Can one tell if someone has fallen asleep? After several long seconds and given the time of night, Rokurou can only assume so. So he just grins a little.]
Goodnight, Trunks. ...Thanks for the letter.
[Just a quiet murmur before the connection cuts out and Rokurou will spend the next few hours staring either at the ceiling of his room or out the window as he mulls over everything that just transpired.]